First night nerves…
To be accurate, it’s not strictly ‘First Night Nerves’ - more like ‘First Time Exhibiting at Patchings Nerves’… As I write, it’s just over two weeks to go to the Festival, and all of a sudden that ‘Oh I’ve got ages of time’ feeling has suddenly become ‘ONLY TWO WEEKS!!’ Admittedly I have been a little distracted in the months leading up to the Festival…but these things do have a habit of creeping up on you. And whereas I have been consciously trying not to overwhelm myself with endless ‘to-do’ lists, in order to ensure that everything is organised, catalogued, printed etc, a tick list for the event is a requirement.
That side of an event is only half of it though. I am having to work hard at, not only facing down the self-doubt demons, the compare and despair monster, the Mrs. Perfectionist, but also at bolstering up my confidence. I know that if I want to grow, not just as an artist, but as a person, I have to step out of my comfort zone. And exhibiting here, demonstrating in front of lots of people, accepting that art is subjective and not everyone will like my work, is certainly a huge step. I am working at framing the experience as a learning curve; not only about having a stand, exhibiting, talking about my work, but also about demonstrating, feeling comfortable talking about techniques etc whilst I work. Admittedly, it’s a work in progress…but then, I think, ‘well, everyone had to start somewhere…’; the artists who seem to have it ‘all together’ are just further along their journey than I am.
“It only takes a reminder to breathe,
a moment to be still, and just like that,
something in me settles, softens, makes
space for imperfection. The harsh voice
of judgement drops to a whisper and I
remember again that life isn’t a relay
race; that we will all cross the finish
line; that waking up to life is what we
were born for. As many times as I
forget, catch myself charging forward
without even knowing where I am going,
that many times I can make the choice
to stop, to breathe, and be, and walk
slowly into the mystery.”
Having only ‘dabbled’ with my painting over these past difficult months, any ideas of a new collection in time for Patchings is sadly not going to happen. But I have been spending more time walking and sketching…the kernel of an idea slowly fermenting away…
Field Edges study…
A reward after a long walk…
I have also been enjoying my photography and creating visual palettes…can you see where my inspiration comes from…?
Muted inspirations…
All of which has been helping to settle my nerves…!
And while the Summer Solstice has been and gone…it’s never too late for a meander…
Hopefully I will see some of you at the Patchings Festival 14-17 July…
Have a great weekend - I hope you manage to do some wandering of your own…
Carolyn x